Waltzing at Training Camp

     I woke long before the sun rose on October 16^th, to catch a flight to Gainsville, GA, for my mission trip’s two week long training camp! Each day was a simulation of living in each of the different 11 countries I’ll be serving in. It was physically, mentally, & spiritually challenging—but yet SO MUCH MORE ENRICHING! We lived in a primitive area, went on a hiking challenge with all of our gear, took bucket showers, ate bugs & other new foods that we’ll likely eat abroad, slept in our tents, met the team of people I am serving with (+ team-building/ministry activities) and met our coaches (alumni or older Christian couple) who keep up with us through our mission and help us grow in our faith. It was so much fun, and I’d be game to do it again… oh wait, I’m signed up for 11 months beginning tomorrow. YAY!!!!!

I LOVED LEARNING THE MANNERS AND EATING THE FOODS FROM EACH COUNTRY! Each day we had several sessions where we were challenged by speakers to grow in our relationship with God, understanding theology, & the culture/beliefs of the countries we’ll be visiting. 

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY SQUAD AND AM SO READY TO SERVE ABROAD!!! Our SQUAD will travel to each country together, but will then break out into TEAMS of 6 to better serve multiple ministries within the city we’re living in. My SQUAD is a group of 29 people 21-35 years old. During the 2nd week of training camp we were carefully put into TEAMS of 6 based on our personality and skills. You can meet the lovely folks on my squad and team by visiting this link: https://www.worldrace.org/?tab=participants&group=20W0102. Each team member has a role–whether as a treasurer, medical license, storyteller, etc… and my new friend John and I were chosen as the worship coordinators for our team! That has deep significance to me, as I originally had planned to pursue in Music Ministry in college and use it abroad. I ended up majoring in English, yet after four years, God has brought back that original vision to reality.

GOD AFFIRMED IN SO MANY WAYS MY CALL TO SERVE WITH WORLD RACE WHILE I WAS THERE. For example, when I graduated and moved back home, one of my professors gave me a book with two quotations from my favorite author (T.S. Eliot) written inside. The first quotation became my “theme” for the year. The other quotation, I didn’t understand. From time to time throughout the year, I’d go back and reread that quotation—look up an exegesis of it on Google, read it in its original context in its chapter—but I still couldn’t grasp its significance.

“At the still point of the turning world.

Neither flesh nor fleshless;

Neither from nor towards;

At the still point there the dance is, …

Except for the point, the still point,

There would be no dance,

And there is only the dance.”

(Eliot, Four Quartets, 2).

While I was at training camp, the theme that was emphasized was that we were born to be loved. Because of my inability yet desire to be perfect, during that time I was wondering if God really loved me or if I just disappointed Him most of the time. I found myself living my life for Him, but my motives underneath were really after striving to earn His love, when actually He wanted me to live out of His love for me and to do life alongside me. During the session that touched on this topic, I prayed to fall more in love with Jesus and to truly trust that His love for me doesn’t change. Then I had a vision.

Everything unfolded before me, it seemed that I was just watching. Jesus stood across from me, and He held out His scarred hand. I placed my hand in His and then we slowly began to dance the waltz. My eyes searched His. I was extremely curious to know how He really saw me, and I was astonished by the sincere look of adoration and love with which He looked at me. I felt no fear. His embrace was incredibly strong and balancing, yet held me gently. There was no disappointment in His eyes, there was no shame, there was only pride. There was no distance in His embrace.

“You are my beloved, and I am well pleased.” 

That’s how He sees me. After the vision ended, Eliot’s quotation flashed onto the screen of my mind, and I got it. THIS IS THE DANCE. EXCEPT FOR THE STILL POINT THERE WOULD BE NO DANCE. AND THERE IS ONLY THE DANCE. I got it. Literally, “the dance” refers to the constant communication God longs to have with us, as you would with your “dance partner.” Every step is together. For me, every other pursuit became increasingly less desirable than this dance. That vision has so much significance to me and disarmed the lies that I’d come to believe about God and myself.

We don’t have to earn His love, because He loved and pursued us while we were yet sinners. We can’t make Him love us more or less, because His love for us is based on His character. He IS love. And He created us, as an expression of His love, so that He could love us. Wow, good stuff : ) If we are striving to earn His love or His grace, we’re actually enslaving ourselves trying to accomplish what Jesus already accomplished for us on the cross. The book of Galations talks allllll about freedom through Christ and not being enslaved to a works-based grace, which we CANNOT earn. That’s why Jesus’s life is GOOD NEWS! So we don’t have to ever be separated from God’s love!

The vision reminded me of several verses:

“Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.” 1 John 4:18.

 ^“Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us. Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? As the Scriptures say, ‘For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.’ No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.” (Romans 8:34-37)

 “He will not let your foot slip—he who watches over you will not slumber… The Lord will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.” (Psalm 121:3,7-8)

 “I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born.” (Isaiah 44:2)

 “His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ.” (Ephesians 1:5)

 “For God said, ‘I will never leave you; I will never abandon you.’” Hebrews 13:5

Wow, there are so many verses I could list here describing God’s love for us. I’m so thankful that God responded to my prayer by affirming His unconditional love for me! If you pray to fall more in love with Jesus, HE WILL SO TAKE YOU UP ON THAT REQUEST!! At training camp, many other people were physically healed and lots of people freed from emotional bondage. There is power in the name of Jesus! Several people got baptized and rededicated their life to God.

I attached a video below describing my experience at training camp AND here is another video describing how/what I packed (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igkvHcgEcsY&t=1s)! Thanks for your prayers and your support in helping send me there, so that I can report back to you the work God is doing in me, my team, and around the world. I leave again for Atlanta, GA tomorrow for some more training, and on Monday my team and I fly out to Indonesia! I’m so ready!! Let it begin! Let it begin!

Author’s note: I view my writing as a conversation. It means a lot to me to hear from you. It doesn’t matter how long ago after it’s been posted—I will be notified, and I will write you back! : )