Psalm 16 >> Following His Presence

This photo was taken during our worship session during our last debrief. The only cloud in the expansive sky that night was resting over us, and it reminded me of how God dwelt among the Israelites in the form of a cloud in the books of Exodus and Numbers. When He moved, they moved. Where He stayed, they stayed. 

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Hey everyone! I’m in Chiang Mai, Thailand currently! I have some important news to share with you. After conflict rerouting and changes with ministry placements, we received the email that all World Race squads would be sent back to the U.S., and the logistics teams would be getting us on planes within the next day or two. Many countries are quickly changing their policies about foreigners entering in an effort to stop the spread of the Corona virus. 

Ouchie. Our team was sitting in a circle and we just looked at each other, that reality taking a moment to sink in. It was 7 AM. Then some burst into tears and we embraced each other. Not knowing what to do, we decided to pray together and worship God.

Later as I ate breakfast I asked God, “How do I respond to this?” He said, “In my presence there is fullness of joy.” That’s a line from verse 11 of Psalm 16. So I spent time meditating on the entire chapter today. Verse two says, “I say to the Lord, ‘You are my LORD; apart from you I have no good thing.” I have felt God’s surpassing peace in the midst of this uncertain time. I know I am being covered in many people’s prayers, THANK YOU. When my heart began to feel weak later today, all I wanted was to go into a shower stall (hey, it’s the only place to be alone) and bow down and worship. Yes. With my headphones blasting “Defender,” “Worthy of it all,” “Waymaker,” “Goodness of God,” etc… I bowed down chest to my knees, my hair brushing the ground, and sobbed and poured my heart out before the Lord. 

I just enjoyed the reality of His goodness, His power, His forgiveness, His faithfulness, His love, His peace, His joy. He comforted me. It was a really sweet time, just me and Him, and I found fullness of joy in His presence. Since my heart was beating, with each pound it asked, “What about my desire to spread the Gospel to the nations Lord? What about my desire to bring healing, freedom, and love in Your name to the people of Thailand?” “I know,” He said, “I gave you those desires.” Ah. Remembering the gentle way those words approached my heart and yet the confidence which entered my spirit when He said that, made another tear form and escape down my cheek just now. Clearly, this is still His plan A for me. 

God has helped me zoom out of the here and now, and think logically about the His big picture perspective. First truth, the World Race is a small detail in the grand story of eternity and my life. Second truth, through the Corona virus, God is tenderizing more hearts to repent and depend on Him than the impact my entire lifetime witnessing could make. Third truth, since our relationship is a partnership, if He sees me better equipped to serve in my home nation while the virus is terrorizing it, then I will go where His presence is. Because I want to follow His presence over what I think my “calling” is. Fourth truth, everyone is in the same situation right now. Our plans are halted. The future is unknown. All followers of Christ are trusting God for our next steps. No one is alone facing the world-wide fear of the Corona virus. And whatever in each of our lives is halted, is not the end of being abroad for me or the end of _fill in the blank_ for anybody else either. Yes, things will never be the same as they were before, but that’s not a bad thing, it’s expected, and God has new things for us to explore. 

Though I’m feeling some “ouchie” right now (and I’ll feel more once I actually am back in the U.S.), there are many things I’m looking forward to. I look forward to being with my family and close friends. To resting, fasting, and interceding. To encouraging my church and town as they maneuver this transition as well. Our partnership furthering His Kingdom together is not over. I view returning to the U.S. as temporary. I’m hopeful that in a few weeks or months, when the virus fury calms, that our team will be relaunched to finish our route. If that doesn’t happen, I still feel confident in the Lord’s plans for me (wherever that may be) and we will move forward anyways. Truly, the World Race has equipped me to live out intimacy with God, be and build up the church whilst living in community, and live out mission to make disciples of all nations. I’ve been so transformed by their discipleship, and it’s only been two months! My biggest fear would have been to return home without being changed. But as I consider what it would be like to return, I’m overjoyed to see a new view of everything in my mind among other emboldened things in my personality and faith. Specifically I learned last month to pursue His presence over whatever I thought my “calling” was, and that truth has reaped all kinds of benefits already in the last 24 hours. 

Friends, this is all the information I know right now. It’s a lot to process that I’m going to be back in the U.S. in a few days instead of in November. I’m sure many of you have questions and loving advice you would like to give… but please refrain from sharing it at this time. I would deeply appreciate your prayers though, and commenting simply, “I’m praying,” is the best way to support me right now. I am entering a time of reflection and prayer, and I will let you know when I have entered the next stage of this “process” processing, and can then welcome more communication. Thank you for being sensitive and understanding. I will continue to post blog posts as usual! I love you all a lot! God is good, and day and night He is worthy of all praise so we will keep on singing it! 

Prayer Requests:

• There are 50 squads, each with 40 young missionaries, on flights back to the U.S. as we speak. Many not knowing even what they’ll do after their flight lands… because they literally sold everything to follow Jesus.
• For Adventures in Missions staff, who are listening to the Lord’s guidance and organizing transportation for all of us. Are these people even sleeping?! Extra reminders of God’s love for these people… as they are giving so much of themselves to keep us safe.
• That the enemy would not succeed in distracting or lying to us. Pray against feelings of defeat. Against shame. Against fear. Against isolation. Against betrayal.
• For my squad that we would open our hearts wide to each other and look at this circumstance from the perspective of God’s unchanging character. 
• For me, that my sinus infection would quickly heal. That my eyes would remain on Jesus and not the changes around me. That He would show me how to comfort those around me with the comfort I’ve received. 
• Opportunities to witness to and serve people as we journey back to the U.S..