Morocco, Final Debrief, & Kansas City!!

Hey everyone! I’m on U.S. soil! Whoo hoo! It’s been on my heart to send an update about returning. In fact, I have several more story ideas I want to share with you all—so don’t go anywhere! I’m going to keep this blog alive and full of inspiration (for the next couple months at least), for the glory of God!

Morocco

Well. First off, I left you all hanging about our celebratory trip to Morocco! Guess you guys didn’t hound me enough about it ;). We spent four days in Egypt, and then flew to Morocco for 6 days. We landed in Casablanca, and the sweetest older woman picked us up (think Uber-style). She was so friendly! I immediately got a hug, kiss on the cheek, and she wanted to walk arm in arm to the car as we made some small talk. We had to use the restroom soooo bad, & when we reached it, there was a guy sitting outside demanding we pay to use it–which is typical–& I always can’t help but silently muse, “Sir, did you build this restroom, or what rights do you have to it, exactly?” Haha. She helped us avoid the “unnecessary toll,” and on our ride home continued to explain to us that as a woman in Morocco, she had just learned how to drive and got her driver’s license–which she was VERY EXCITED ABOUT! “I love driving everywhere!” she repeated over and over! To be honest, I felt unsafe the entire ride because we almost got in a crash too many times. But her enthusiasm was top notch, and that kept me from telling my friends we should get out while we’re still alive. Logical? Not at all.

We had a couple other friendly interactions with locals—through getting lost later and asking for directions while looking for supper, going to the pharmacy because my two friends got parasites in Egypt (the Lord spared me!), and visiting with our AirBnb host. I’m ashamed to say, that since more than a month has passed, I have forgotten all of their names, but I remember their presence and their kindness. There was an important soccer game broadcasted on live television that night, and I found it to be a unique characteristic of Casablanca, that every restaurant, café, and bar we passed by was packed wall to wall with men smoking and staring at a small television set. And before someone from Europe or Africa corrects me, they were watching football. ;P

The next day we took the high speed train to Tangier, followed by a bus to Chefchaouen. The bus ride was unreal as it carried us around the sides of majestic mountains overlooking sparkly water, cozy cottages, and colorful vegetation. The beginning of blue lampposts along the road hinted we were approaching the blue city. The city originally belonged to Muslim inhabitants, but when Jewish people fled there during World War II, the Jewish people painted their homes blue, to remind them of Heaven and God. Because it was so obvious where the Jews lived, they began to be discriminated against. But in the end, to uphold peace, the Muslims decided to paint their homes blue too, resulting in a beautiful city where two different races live in peace.

When we stepped off the bus, it was scorching hot. Not as hot as Egypt, but Egypt was comparable to the heat index of Venus as far as I could tell. 112 DEGREES PEOPLE. NO NOSTRIL IS SAFE. Haha XD. Two siblings were at the bus stop, and offered to take us in their tuk-tuk to our AirBnb. “Are you here to smoke weed or go hiking?” was their first question. Noted XD. That evening, if I recall correctly, one of my friends and I developed an exhausting cold that put us out for 2 days. All I remember is sleeping, drinking water, eating crackers, and our one friend who was well enough to go out and explore updating us on how many times he had been asked if he wanted weed that day. After we regained our strength, we walked around the maze of a city. Tried some traditional food (couscous, tagine) and desserts (baklava, mint tea, briouat, chebakia). I searched for specific gifts for family and friends. I waited until our last country on purpose to buy gifts. And I was in the perfect place to get unique, hand-made items.

The locals at Chefchaouen are merchants. Their shops are lined up all along the maze-like streets. They were very friendly and shared some humor even. It was a different pace. Just us 3 instead of the whole squad. Over meals and walks we got to reflect on parts of the Race as well as share our anticipation of the return to the states quickly approaching. I didn’t think about my past life in the states much while I was on the Race. Sure I stayed in touch with family, mentors, and friends, but beyond that—my blog was my communication with everyone back in the states and that’s why I cherished your interaction through comments and prayer so much. I was totally engaged in my relationship with God, my role team leading, and nurturing all of my new friendships with the squad, hosts, and locals. I’m glad I did the Race that way. I experienced it all, processed it all—cherished it all. Because my mind and my heart was alert, present, and content.

Besides hearing from the Lord in March that He was preparing a place for me in Kansas City for when I returned, He began giving me dreams that week in Chefchaouen about returning. I had dreams about places I would go, people I would talk to, and word-for-word conversations we would have. Some of it was very healing. Some were warnings about people’s motives. Others were people who embraced me and were genuinely happy to see me. Can I be transparent with you? The more a person steps out in their faith for God, the more opposition will arise, essentially out of nowhere, because now you’re a threat in the world. I’m thankful for those dreams, because there are some people (even people who say they are Christians) who would not be happy for me and not celebrate how I’d grown in my faith. And more than that, I’m aware how specific people like to stir up trouble for me; while they smile to my face. There are some foxes in my vineyard, and I allow them to be there. I want to be quick to defend Christ’s Bride, even as some of them run a blade through my back. But nevertheless, God warns us of this in scripture, saying to be as “gentle as a dove” WHILE BEING “wise as a serpent” (Matthew 10:16). Sheep sent among wolves, no matter where you are.

God told me I didn’t need to feel threatened by them; to constantly forgive and release them, as well as communicate boundaries when needed. He promises to hold me responsible for being obedient to what He asks me to do: loving and serving well. People will gossip and make up what they want toward my reputation (no matter what I do or don’t do; we can’t control other people), but none of that would change God’s plans for me and my value. He assured me of that. It’s His reputation that matters. And He wants me to concern myself with His reputation only.

After God warned me and told me what to do, I just thought about how excited I was to spend more time with my family. To actually be friends with my parents. To explore Kansas City with Faith and camping with Daniel. And then to build up and exhort God’s Bride (the Church) with testimonies of how passionately He has revealed Himself to people of foreign cultures. Of His character and the new brothers and sisters they will get to meet in Heaven! It’s all so wonderous and spectacular! He’s better and partnering with Him in His mission is better than I could have ever imagined!

Well, I got excited and started testifying about Him. Typical. Back to Morocco XD. After Chef Chaouin, we returned to Casablanca for a night. We went out to the boardwalk by the ocean. I sat on a bench alone near a mosque, enjoying the sunset while my friends walked around. Suddenly Moroccan women started approaching me, since I was alone, and wanted to visit. They were so endearing, and their abaya and hijab’s were so beautiful. I have so much admiration for Middle Eastern fashion. They sat down on the bench beside me and asked some great questions. I really enjoyed getting to know them, and am still talking to them regularly through WhatsApp. My friends came back from walking around, and were really confused how I’d made so many friends. 😀 So that was Morocco! Next round, someone just drop me off in Casablanca and I’ll do ATL (Ask The Lord) ministry all month on a bench in front of a mosque!

Final Debrief

My friends and I flew back to Bucharest, Romania, to rejoin the whole squad and fly back to Atlanta, Georgia together—ONE LAST TIME. TEARS. Final debrief was so special and enriching. Our squad mentor, alumni team leaders, and coaches were there! We got lots of time for worship, prayer, everyone on the squad shared a testimony of their past year, and we received more teachings on discipleship, forgiveness, relationships, re-entry patterns, and deconstruction (sometimes missionaries return with trauma and big questions they had never thought of before—happened to me on my first Race, so I was so glad we had a session about it this time so others can recognize it and get the support they need). We also had a banquet. There we got the opportunity for each person to publicly exhort (encourage with truth) someone else on the squad. We celebrated the end of our journey and service together, and feasted.

Kansas City

I’m all settled in Kansas City! My housemates are ministry workers and very devoted to God, which is great company! Our basement and another room upstairs are rented out to visiting missionaries, so I have missionaries coming from all over the world to stay in our home! I LOVE IT SO MUCH! We live near the International House of Prayer, so many people come for retreats there. I joined an international church with a large young adults Bible study! Applied to some jobs, got all the health checkups. Besides spending the majority of my time with my family and hanging out with people–I’ve been cooking. That’s right, you read it right XD. After spending time in that Albanian village, seeing them eat from the produce of their land, I was inspired to return to the states and cut out processed food from my diet. And get fancy with the spices! It takes a lot more planning and prepping the food (hours my friend, HOURS), but it has been well worth it.

I’ve had to adjust to the slower pace of life and not being surrounded by people constantly. When I get impatient with the adjustment, God reminds me that right now I’m building routines in my spiritual disciplines, relationships, cooking, and exercise… and that is so important to have nailed down before I begin working again. He’s right ; ).

Some of the more negative things with returning is, getting asked 1) when I’m going to get married, 2) when I’m going to get a “real job and stop volunteering,” and 3) given unsolicited advice about how to live a fulfilling life and no chance to respond to what they said. *Major facepalm* I love these people. It’s rude and disrespectful, but I do love them. I figured I might as well answer those questions briefly here since they are “hot topics” XD:

1) Depends on who asks me. I’ve found showing the ring on my left hand and saying, “I’m married,” is the quickest way to defuse harassment when I’m going about my daily life. Aside from that, I don’t think I will get married. I’ve been joyfully and aggressively living out my life’s purpose for, well, since I gained consciousness, and the life I live is very fulfilling to me, lacking nothing, while it may confuse others. I am open to dating and marriage, and do go on dates occasionally (really often sometimes ;)).

2) Missionaries work beyond 40 hours a week, receive no paycheck, face discomfort pretty often, and trust God for their provision. It’s not that they don’t work enough to be paid for it, it’s just no government wants to pay them for the work they are doing. Lol. The service I do is real, and meaningful, and I will keep doing it until God tells me to do something else.

3) And for unsolicited advice, just please don’t give it XD.

Frankly, I don’t think any of you would ask me those questions—they just get asked  s o   o f t e n when I see people now that I’m back. So please. There are far more interesting conversations we could have! At the heart level, when I get these questions, it’s disappointing. At the heart level, I carry so many stories of God’s power and people encountering him, and everything else really pales in comparison to the riches of that. I just.. I don’t want anyone to miss out on those riches… I long to give them out! So to those of you who have listened to the stories, who saw the romance with Romania go down XD instead of with another person, and are happy with me for all God has done–thank you. Everyone is not like you, and I hope that you feel as rich inside as I do. 

Re-entry is a whole experience of itself, and this is my 4th one! Some fun adjustments were remembering I could flush toilet paper, drink from sinks, remembering how fast-paced Americans talk and live, fast food destroying my stomach, and being surprised everyone around me speaks English XD. I try to be honest to the core, and I think that sharing my experience with my ministry partners means sharing “the good and the bad,” otherwise it’s not fully honest and true.

Being back has been SO SPECIAL to embrace and spend quality time with everyone I love, God has provided housing and quality community for me, and I’ve gotten the opportunity to put into routine the things that God rearranged in my heart to honor Him better with my time. I’m happy :). And I’ll start visiting churches to share about the past year once I get comfortable in my job… so probably September! Thanks for staying near and dear. He provides, speaks clearly, discerns the future, gives wisdom freely, cherishes time with us, and brings people along our path to love and serve! We’ll talk again soon! : ) As always, I love to hear from you guys… say hello in the comments below!

Author’s note: As I was revising this post before publication, I was astonished by all the sarcasm. I enjoy sarcastic humor with myself, but hadn’t noticed when it leaked into my writing. XD Then I realized I’d just finished reading “Candide” by Voltaire last night, which is a satire.