Courage in Kosovo

Hey everyone! I BECAME FULLY FUNDED THIS MONTH! This is my fourth missions trip, and the beginning of each journey has begun with fundraising. How daunting it was to fundraise $19,000 back in 2019. Then for ‘rona to intrude, and be required to fundraise $8,000 more this year. I considered, “I became fully funded last time, but will people really care to support me again?” Yes. Each time the Lord has sought out generosity, empathy, and Kingdom-vision in the hearts of His children, and provided LODGING and FOOD and SPIRITUAL DISCERNMENT through YOUR financial support and prayers.

All of you came to my mind when I became fully funded again this time: you who supported me on round 1 of the Race and those of you who joined in on round 2. How you’ve sacrificed money from your salary, time from your schedule, even given me your blessing to move far away from you to the other side of the world (I’m looking at you, mom, dad, Faith, & Daniel <3) to join in what God invited us to do. Tearfully, wholeheartedly, thank you for feeling and believing in God’s great commission to share hope with the lost. We’re on this mission together.

The video above is a reflection on our month serving in Kosovo! It is totally different from the writing I have written below… my video is more professional whereas my writing is more my personal experience. I aim to balance both : ).

No Host So Holy Spirit Found Us One

From October 15th-November 15th we served in Pristina, Kosovo! It was another ATL (ask the Lord month) for us, meaning that we had no host and no assigned ministry/lodging. We were on a bus from Tirana, Albania, to Pristina, Kosovo, 15 minutes before crossing the boarder when I got a text from Pastor Artur. Somehow, our mentor had gotten in contact with him that day, and he immediately wanted to take our team in.

He sent some staff from his church to pick us up at the bus stop, and they invited us to stay in their church’s guest apartment for the month. He gathered bags of rice, pasta, pickles, etc. from the church’s storage to feed us. I thought Albania had out-done themselves in generosity towards us, and I was in tears all over again at how they provided for us without a second thought. 

Serving with the Church Staff

We helped them sort clothes for their Mozaik Thrift Shop ministry, handout food to low-income families through Mercy Ministries, plan and facilitate songs and games for Kid’s Clubs, help with songs/face painting/balloon art/games when taking the Kid’s Truck to a nearby village, and listening to the Holy Spirit as we evangelized door to door in a variety of local villages. The church staff was very in tune with the communities’ needs around them and served with an urgency!

Many of them had grown up in Muslim families and had previously been Muslim, and to witness who they are today brought a whole new desire in my heart to surrender more of my life to the Lord. Each of them was SO SURRENDERED to God–inwardly they had so much peace despite the violence (from Serbia) around them for most of their life. 

New Challenges in Missions

Kosovars, and much of Eastern Europe I’ve discovered, are straightforward and direct in their speech (opposite of U.S. culture which tends to be polite to the point of dishonesty sometimes). Kosovars say it how it is, and while it came as a bit of a shock to me at first (example questions such as: How much do you weigh? What do you expect to accomplish here? I don’t like that food, let’s go somewhere else?), I quickly realized how valuable that way of communication is because I always knew exactly how they were feeling and their opinion. 

Their direct communication was very valuable because right away they shared with us that their past experience with American missionaries had been very poor. Americans had come with their own agenda and damaged relationships the staff had built in the community. The staff had felt like the Americans thought their culture and way of doing things needed to be “fixed.” Therefore, they had distrust and grief towards partnering with Americans again.

When I first learned that, I felt such sadness imagining their joy in believing they were receiving a team in the past that would refresh and encourage them, just to end up getting betrayed by people who were supposed to be as brother’s and sister’s to them. How deep that would cut. I know what that feels like. The pain lingers and throbs more than being offended by a non-Christian. The significance? Because that’s not how the church is meant to be. 

Some of my teammates were tempted in the beginning to believe that the staff would never stop being suspicious of us. But I saw our month there as an opportunity to reconcile and redeem their past hurtful experiences with American missionaries. At the end of the month I asked the staff who had been hurt the most, if the past month having us there felt redemptive for them? They said it had been, and they truly enjoyed having us partner with them.

Prayer Requests and Praises:

+Thank you so much for praying for my team to have a hunger to know God more, and rely on His strength. Alumni say the World Race is a pressure cooker: after months of being with your teammates in all kinds of trying circumstances, the contents of your heart (the fruit you produce) is going to come out. It’s not always pretty, and our team reached that point yesterday. But through the tears, honesty, listening to–not just hearing–each other, and humbling ourselves… we got to see the beauty of forgiveness, repentance, and discussed ways to rebuild trust lived out in community.

I’ve rarely experienced that level of communication and intimacy in Christian community. Usually if a Christian friend or fellow church member is offended by me and I don’t know it, they just ghost me. Frankly, that has cut me so deeply the last couple years. I practically expect it nowadays. And it has made trust feel impossible most days for me regarding relationships with other Christians–I feel more inclined to trust non-Christians more from my experiences because at least they are up front about things and don’t hide behind politeness. 

But I’ve continued to love and pursue Christ’s Church, even when people I’m supposed to be able to trust cut me to the quick, & I feel I’ll emotionally bleed to death. I’ve continued to CHOOSE IN. I’ve continued to believe in the design for relationships that God describes in the Bible, and I’m thankful to see evidence with my own eyes that it is possible. I’m learning how trust is built, how it’s broken, & how it’s repaired. Past scars fade when friendships are fought for—not because it’s easy but because we’ve decided to love and be honest with each other no matter what. Neither one is giving up. I’ve been abandoned and rejected so many times in friendship in my 20’s—without ever getting the chance to know the reason why or getting a chance to be heard. It’s uncomfortable for people, so they just give up. But this is different. Time certainly does show who wants to be a part of your life, who chooses you again and again and again. I’m so thankful to the friends who have continued to choose me throughout the years. And I’m thankful the Lord is redeeming this area of my life in regards to Christian community.

+Thank you for praying that God would prepare people’s hearts to encounter God. When going door to door evangelizing in villages in Kosovo, people welcomed us into their home and shared their life story with us. That is so personal, and I’m thankful their hearts were open to us and our testimony about experiencing God personally.

+Please pray that specifically in the coming month I would see God’s power through prayer and within me. 

+We are having team changes, I was invited to team lead again for the 3rd stage of this mission, and I ask for prayer for unity, grace, and trust within this new group of people I’ll be serving.

+Prayer for opportunities to have quality conversations with local people here in Amman, Jordan.

Thank you! Please drop a comment below–I love hearing from each of you!